There's something that's been on my mind for a few weeks now... babies..
I don't know what happened to me exactly, but I do remember it was on a Sunday evening when I was sitting at home. I suddenly got an urge to start having children.
I haven't really been one of those girls that's always wanted children. In fact, when I was younger I didn't really play with dolls and when I was a teenager I said I wouldn't have kids ever. When I got into my late teens however, my feelings started to change. I started to think 'Oh yeah, maybe some day...'. Now I'm 22, soon 23 and I'm starting to think about it more seriously.
I'm trying to think of all the reasons why we shouldn't have kids now. There are a few of course, some being: We don't have a house of our own yet. I don't have a 'fast' or permanent job. We're not married. We haven't been together THAT long (almost two years). I wonder if we're financially stable enough. Maybe I'm too young. Are we ready?
I guess the most pressing concerns are the house and us being ready. Really, the house thing isn't a very big problem. A lot of people have kids before they have a place of their own. I've been talking about this a lot with the people at work and one woman said 'Yeah, but even if you have a house you'll start thinking 'Oh, we should decorate it and get everything in order first etc''. She said that you should just have kids when you want and take the other stuff as it comes. I thought that this was actually a good point. There really is no 'perfect time' to have a child, and if you wait for such a time, you may be waiting forever..
In terms of us being ready, I guess I do feel ready, and so does Lars Erik, he's really dying for children. My mum said that if I wasn't in a happy and secure relationship then I probably wouldn't be thinking about having kids yet (maybe a reason why some people wait a bit longer, they haven't found 'the one'). But I guess I'm a bit afraid that we'll have a baby and then suddenly I'll think of all the things we wanted to do before/can't do after becoming a parent. Or like I don't realise how much it will change my life and maybe we should just enjoy being us two for a little while more..
I've also been weighing up the pros and cons of being a younger parent vs being an older parent.
I guess I kind of know already that I want to be a younger parent because:
I want to have the energy to chase after my child in the park
I want to be able to get up to a crying child in the middle of the night and still manage work the next day
I want to be young and healthy enough to start a new chapter in my life after my kids have grown up
I want to be a 'young' and active grandparent
I also think of course about the biological pros to having children younger; there are less risks of chromosomal abnormalities when you have children younger, they say your body handles childbirth better, I'm probably more fertile now than I will be in ten years time and I guess its just the 'natural' way, to have children when you're young. Nature says we're ready to be parents when we get our first period, 11-12 years of age (I'm of course not suggesting that 11 and 12 year olds should be having kids, but you know what I mean :P). I also think about that if I decide to wait a few more years for example, what if I have difficulties conceiving? There are no guarantees that just because you want children, you can have them. I know of lots of people that have a hard time getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to full term, and I think that if that happens to me, I'd rather have time on my side.
Of course, there are also benefits to waiting until you're a little older to have children, and 'older' parents are just as capable as younger parents of chasing after their kids and getting up in the night etc. Also, its likely that you're more adjusted, more financially secure, more sure of your decision and have enough life experience not to resent having children, as some younger parents might.
I think when it comes down to it, age, life experience, biology etc don't mean an awful lot. In my opinion, the 'right time' to have a baby can only be decided by the parents themselves. And just because you're in your thirties doesn't mean you're any more ready to have a baby than somebody in their twenties. Its a huge change at any stage of life.
As for me, I'm not going to rush into anything just yet. I know I probably have 'baby-fever' just because I'm surrounded by cute kids all day at work :)